I’ve been crying the whole afternoon. It was beautiful and amazing what we had together…. I miss you so incredibly much, it’s hard to express. I wish I could tell you how much you meant to me, how incredibly happy I am to have met you and maybe to still have some of your heart. There was so much love in there. So much care and longing, so much affection. I miss those times of easy affection of everyday happiness that I didn’t appreciate. I now see how much they matter to me.

Today I sent you some photos and a message about wanting to gently make love to you. I know I shouldn’t have done either. But there is something here, that matters so much to me. And I don’t want to be indifferent. I feel like I’m alienating you. Maybe I’m making a mistake. Maybe my whole life is a mistake.